Jesus

​The year before I was diagnosed with depression, I was extremely busy. I blogged weekly for Scholastic Inc., taught high school English full-time and taught night classes at a community college two nights a week. Despite the busyness at the time, I felt it was temporary.

My brain was working on overload. Presentations at teaching conferences, college courses and my daily routine in school were catching up to me. The stress of perfection was real. One night as I finally crashed into the bed at 11:30, I whispered to my wife, I don’t know what I would do if I lost the ability to think or process things. What would I do?

I wish I could say, I 100 percent looked to Jesus and relied on Him during this journey. If I would say it, I’d be lying. At times, it was faith in Him that he would heal me that allowed me to function. Other days I was angry. I did not understand why he He allowed me to have a physical condition that led me to be diagnosed with depression. Finding an answer to the question, what would I do, became reality.

In his book, The Naked Now, Spiritual author Richard Rohr discusses the two directions one who suffers can go.

“Suffering … can lead you in either of two directions. It can make you very bitter and close you down, or it can make you wise, compassionate, and utterly open, either because your heart has been softened, or perhaps because suffering makes you feel like you have nothing more to lose. It often takes you to the edge of your inner resources … even against your will.”

I knew I didn’t want to become bitter or closed down. A plan was being worked in me, even though I didn’t see it. My challenges would someday be used to help others through a difficult part of their journey.

My hope is this blog and when the book helps you or someone you know.

Find Peace. Find Jesus.