Scott Saul's story on anxiety, depression and hidden graces
Anxiety and depression are two strange friends...They affect people different ways. In his blog post on
the Catalyst website, Scott Sauls discusses how anxiety, depression and suicide affects everyone.
His post Anxiety, Depression and Hidden Graces begins with a letter he read in a local newspaper.
One day in my mid-twenties while studying to become a pastor, I came across a suicide note published in the local newspaper…written by a pastor:
God forgive me for not being any stronger than I am. But when a minister becomes clinically depressed, there are very few places where he can turn to for help…it feels as if I’m sinking farther and farther into a downward spiral of depression. I feel like a drowning man, trying frantically to lift up my head to take just one more breath. But one way or another, I know I am going down.
The writer was the promising young pastor of a large, thriving church in Saint Louis. Having secretly battled depression for a long time – having sought help through prayer, therapy, and medication – his will to claw through yet another day was gone. In his darkest hour, the young promising pastor decided he would rather join the angels than continue facing demons for years to come. The sign-off to his note, “Yours in the Name of Our Blessed Lord, Our Only Hope in Life and Death” brought a strange comfort, because grace covers all types things, including suicide. Yet grief and confusion remained.
The confusion escalated when another pastor, also from Saint Louis, asphyxiated himself to death because a similar, secret depression.
