Gratitude

Thirty-nine years ago Oct. 1, my son, Ramez, and I came to America. Elene, my wife, had preceded us

to start her Ph.D. Program at St. Louis University. And what a day it was … A day that will always trigger happiness, fondness and a lot of gratitude.

The emotions of that day in 1976 were a mix of apprehension, elation, anxiety, happiness and, yes, some sadness to leave behind the only country I knew and where I lived for 29 years. The first leg was to Rome and things did not go well there. Ramez had his favorite toy with him, a green transparent plastic water gun. At the Rome airport the security personnel detained us in a closed area to investigate the toy gun. They confiscated the toy. Ramez started crying, actually screaming, with his full 3-year-old voice. They interrogated us about the water gun and why we had it with us.

After 45 minutes of intense questioning, they finally allowed us to take the next flight to New York. This was not the end of it. Because of severe weather conditions our flight was diverted to Toronto, where we stayed on the tarmac for 3 hours before resuming the flight.

Finally, after a six hour delay, we arrived in St. Louis. And in the midst of the tears and the hugs, Ramez, the precocious 3 year old, told his mom as he was hugging her: “Mama, you look very pretty tonight!”

After 39 years of being in this great country, the profound feeling that completely fills me is gratitude!! Gratitude for everything that happened to us in this country and gratitude towards everyone we have met here.

Gratitude is not a passive emotion. It is an active one. Gratitude does not just happen. You have to be cognizant of the many blessings in your life to be able to be grateful. You have to make an inventory of your life and count all the blessings that God has bestowed upon you then be thankful and grateful for everything that God has blessed you with.

Dr. Oliver Sacks, the famous neurologist who died at the end of August, had written an op ed piece in the New York Times a few weeks before his death. He knew he was dying. He wrote: “I cannot pretend I am without fear. But my predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved; I have been given much and I have given something in return.”

This is remarkable. I know if this is our last thought or last emotion then we have succeeded in life. At the end of our lives If we are not filled with fear, jealousy, resentments, bitterness, or regrets -- but instead we are full of gratitude, then our lives did not go in vain … our lives were meaningful and indeed they were worth living.

People think that others are happier, richer, and more comfortable and ought to be more grateful than them. This is not the case at all. Believe me, if you just close your eyes, take a deep breath and then think of all the wonderful things around you. The fact that your eyes can see and enjoy the magnificent change of colors in the fall and the budding beautiful tulips in the spring … that you can see the beautiful sunrises and sunsets of every day.

That your can hear the delicious singing of the birds … that you can enjoy your favorite kind of music whether it is pop, blue grass, country, or Rachmaninov’s second piano concerto, my favorite … That you can walk and enjoy the immense beauty of God’s nature around you. That you can kiss your kids or grandkids and hug your loved ones … that you love and be loved … Even the rain, the lightening and the clouds. All these are beautiful things that remind us of how lucky we really are.

Now, think of what happens if you are deprived of all this. How bleak, incomplete and meaningless your life would be … How miserable life itself would be. Then lift your eyes to the beautiful blue sky and be filled with gratitude.

My family and I have a million things to be grateful for. Next to our family, none is as profound as the opportunity to be a part of this great country. Coming to this country changed our lives dramatically. The love and support that we have enjoyed in this country would make a stone melt. Our limitless gratitude extends in all directions, East, West, North and South. It extends to everyone who gave us a helping hand or a smile of encouragement ... Who embraced us and supported us through our trials and tribulations … Who gave us unconditional love and acceptance … Who lent us money when we were broke and gave us uplifting encouragement when were in the dumps.

Who cried with us when Elene was diagnosed with cancer and who helped with her surgery and recovery … Who had the patience to allow us to speak in our broken English without showing any signs of discomfort. Who took care of us in the time of need… Who accepted us as we were; naive, inexperienced and green.

To all of you: We are very fortunate that God has put you in our paths … We are eternally grateful for your kindness, generosity and love!

And to this great country: Thank you for giving us the opportunity to call you our home. Thank you for opening your arms and your heart for immigrants like us. Thank you for doing this day in and day out with love, compassion and understanding. We love you, America!!

And we are full of gratitude.

**Originally printed in the Effingham Daily News